Why???

*HUGE SIGH*  I've gone back and forth for the last year on whether or not I should start a blog....ridiculous...I know!  Like most people, I've known the hurt/shame/embarrassment that comes with being yourself and having others take advantage, judge, reject you based on you being you.  As I've typed these words, I've already hesitated about ten times, thinking...  "no one is going to want to read this" "people are going to be bored" "do people really care what I have to say"  "I hope I don't offend anyone"........well....it's time for me to get over it.  ...because the truth is...  this blog isn't for you, it's for me. 


I have to get over feeling like I need to entertain anyone and I need to get over caring what people think of me.  It only matters what I think of me.  I have decided that this blog is going to be a place for me to fully express myself and it doesn't matter who follows it, or even freaking reads it.  It only matters that I'm expressing what is important to me and that I do so freely.  I want this blog to be something different than social networking, where it's hard to not censor yourself.  That's not to say I don't have a personal filter, but if there is a need or want in my mind to tell you what underwear I'm wearing to tell a story, I'm going to.  If there is an exclamation that could be better expressed with the word 'fuck', I'm going to write it.  I don't judge anyone that would be offended at these things, all I ask is that you don't read my blog.  This way, I'm not waving my freedom of expression in your face unnecessarily and meanwhile, I get to be me without double thinking everything I'm writing.  Do we have a deal, friends?  I guess if we don't....  I still have to be me, lol, so onward we go....


All of THAT being said, it's my hope that anyone who cares to read this will read something and think...  I've felt that way for so long, or damn, the same thing happened to me.  If that happens, great, if not, this blog is still ultimately for me as an outlet.


I really have never cared for blogs that say they are a little bit of everything.  I have some very talented friends who have amazing cooking blogs, or fitness blogs, or political opinion blogs.  I am fascinated by these theme blogs!  With that in mind, it seems strange to start a pure thought and opinion blog based on any number of my random thoughts, but this is how I've always viewed and thought about life.  Being a creative, artistic person sometimes makes me think I look at the world with different kinds of eyes than many people.  As my 'about me' section talks about, I've come through a tremendous obstacle in my life losing 97 lbs, but truthfully, so much of my outward/social life has been focused on my fitness and I've really been feeling the need to express myself and my thoughts that aren't always positive, or inspirational, or fitness related.  I'm sure I'll still talk about it quite a bit, but it won't be everything.  Sometimes I could just need to vent about something and this would be a great place to do it.  I could end up hating blogging, lol...  I might have two posts, this might take off and gain a following..


...but see, there I go again thinking I have to impress people or worry about what everyone thinks....this is just me and my thoughts...take it or leave it.

I have a million thoughts right now that I'd like to share (a racing mind), but they will have to wait until at least tomorrow, lol...  blogging takes a while!  *wipes sweat from brow*  lol